I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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