He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
