I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
