how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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