u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
