So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
