Sponge bath it is.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
