It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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