Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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