Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
