so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
