Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
