Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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