I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
