that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
