Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
