That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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