We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize