Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
