There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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