You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
