I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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