Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
