Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i think my mom watched the whole time
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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