whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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