it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
