a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
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