Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
