Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
