Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
A+ Viking dick
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
