a queef is a wish your heart makes.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
