You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize