no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
