also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
