Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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