using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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