Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
