Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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