thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize