its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
