Jerry, you need to find god
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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