She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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