i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
bring money and cleavage
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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