so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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