too bad you live with your parents still
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize