he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My life is pants optional.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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