I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
