The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
high people should be assigned attendants
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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