ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
