so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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