at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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