He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
