Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she woke up with a sticky ear
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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