I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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