I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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