Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
