I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize