Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize