Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
