im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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