Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
