Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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