i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
