My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
