When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
