I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Randomize
