I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
