She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I had to cum in my sink.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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