just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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