I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize