Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
