i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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